It takes a special kind of courage to care for someone so needy they can’t even ask for help but rather, through behaviours that send out a coded SOS ?, they are screaming ‘I need you!’ several days a week; several weeks in the year.
It’s the kind of courage that is only discovered when you, Carer, hit the brick wall of your own helplessness, juxtaposed with an overwhelming desire to protect and empower that special vulnerable someone. I speak of the relationship between special needs children and their parents, offspring, grandparents, close friends and relations.
Several times during this COVID-19 season, I have wondered how families with special needs children have coped. For so-called ‘regular people’, if being cooped-up during the lockdown and subsequently having their lives thrown out of kilter, may have felt like a boiling pot experience, then the special twist of having a child with a neuro-developmental disorder such as Autism, ADHD, Cerebral Palsy, Downs Syndrome, Asperger’s Syndrome, or other disability, would most likely be a pressure cooker experience no less.
Dear Carer, know this: that just as your child is special, so are you; specially sifted to be their guide through the rollercoaster ride of life. You will discover your special ways of coping and connecting since as you already know, the regular ways just don’t cut it. You will need to ditch pride and the photoshopped way you imagined your life and repeatedly embrace the raw, bombarding reality that is before you.
God will hold your hand (whether you believe or no) and so will others, from one season to the next. Remember it’s good to talk, so take advantage of compassionate hearers. Life was never designed to be an isolated experience; be sure to remain sociable, even and especially, when you feel like cutting off from everyone and everything.
Tomorrow always comes, with new opportunities and a fresh perspective. By putting one foot in front of the other, even on the worst of days, I can guarantee that you will discover, again and again, as I have, that what won’t break you, can only make you and your life more beautiful and meaningful.
