This viral story I’m referring to broke roughly a couple of weeks ago and has been trending ever since. The scenario goes: when asked on the Ladies Like Us podcast about sex education for his children, TI (A well-known American rapper) said: “Not only have we had the conversation, we have yearly trips to the gynaecologist to check her hymen.
Yes, I go with her… I will say, as of her 18th birthday, her hymen is still intact.” This headline from theguardian.com followed shortly after; ‘Outrage as US rapper TI says he has daughter’s hymen checked annually’.When I first came across this story on Facebook, my initial reaction was ‘what attention-seeking rubbish is this rapper spewing now, in his desperation to stay relevant?’
After all, just a week or so prior, he was involved in an ugly public twitter spat with female rapper, Iggy Azalea, whom he reportedly discovered. The massive backlash that occurred prompted me examine it further. I will be the first to admit that TI needn’t have shared such a deeply personal piece of information so publicly.
I read that the daughter in question was so embarrassed by it that she immediately unfollowed her dad on social media to register her displeasure. What isn’t clear is if she objects to the yearly hymen examination. The general consensus, however, is that TI’s behaviour is that of a narcissistic, overbearing, over-controlling man who has no respect for his daughter for choosing to humiliate and degrade her in this way. I can understand this viewpoint.
But I’ve decided to look at it another way. It is no secret that in America, a very high percentage of black fathers are absent and the few that are present, don’t seem to care what their children are up to. Not to mention a high rate of teenage pregnancies. So, the fact that TI takes such a keen interest in his daughter’s virginity should be something to be applauded and encouraged.
He is a protective father, who obviously knows the dangers out there and is just trying to protect and preserve her honour. His way may not be our way but instead of seeing his actions as oppressive and highly intrusive, I prefer to see it as an act of love. He basically wants to instil some degree of self-worth in his daughter. What is so wrong with that?
